I’ve written about binge/feast eating many times before. There is a whole chapter in my book about it. I’m still going to keep blogging about this frequently as it is a message that I’m passionate about.
I believe the the misunderstanding about “binge” eating is what prevents many treatment centres and treatment professionals from truly serving their clients. I believe that for the majority of us, binge eating is a fundamental part of the path to full recovery. I believe that until this is understood by treatment professionals (that and the fact that body diversity is a real thing) the eating disorder field will continue to fail many people in recovery.
Meal plans … whatever. A stepping stone for some. You want to put someone on a meal plan, fine. But don’t you dare tell people they shouldn’t eat more than what is on that meal plan. You’re reinforcing the notion that the human body is a calculator when you do this. That everything we eat needs to be added up, calculated, planned. That is DISORDERED.
Eating disorders are hard enough to recover from without having the person who is supposed to be making you recover reinforcing the concept that one can’t trust one’s own body.
Here’s why it is okay to “binge” in recovery
The urge to eat a lot of food after periods of inadequate nutrition is a biologically driven necessity for many people (and animals). Even without any evidence from other mammals, it is clear and simple common-fucking-sense that the body is going to want a LOT of food — more than a normal amount — in order to make up for a prolonged period of not having enough food.
It is so common-fucking-sense that it makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I feel something within me — probably my faith in human intelligence — die every time I hear that good old “we don’t want to encourage binge eating” line from treatment providers. Encourage it? As it binge eating lurks around every corner and an extra pack of butter on the morning toast ration is going to be enough to turn any one of us into a hopeless lifelong binge eater. You don’t need to encourage it. You’re not producing it. It is already there. It is there because of restriction. It is there because of malnutrition. It is there for a REASON.
Why the fuck do you think so many people in recovery want to binge? Coincidence? We just all happen to also have a tendency towards BED which is nothing to do with the restriction and energy deficit we are in and purely psychological. GIVE ME STRENGTH! It is blatantly obvious that a body in energy deficit is going to seek energy surplus and that is TOTALLY NORMAL AND OKAY.
No, actually, it is optimal. It is MATH. It is 2 + 2 = 4. Famine + end of famine = feast. Energy deficit + available food = binge.
Deficit in anything is typically followed by a desire to consume an above-average amount of that thing. This is not disordered. This is an attempt to achieve balance after deficit. I don’t know how more normal and appropriate this could be without putting a hat and a name tag on it and having it greet you at the door.
Poststarvation hyperphagia (posh science-y word for being really hungry after a period of malnutrition) is something that happens in the period following inadequate intake or malnutrition regardless of whether the reason for that malnutrition was an eating disorder. There is no need to dress it up as anything sinister, unwanted, or a failing. It should be celebrated. It is the path to recovery for many of us. You know what happens when you bastardise something that is a recovery necessity for someone? You put a road block on their ability to fully recover. I hear stories of this from people in recovery every day. This has to stop.
Here is why it is not okay to tell someone the eating a lot of food in recovery is wrong:
- If you want to eat a huge amount of food, and you don’t allow yourself to eat a huge amount of food, that is restriction. One cannot recover from a restrictive eating disorder via restriction.
- Discouraging people from eating a lot if they desire to eat a lot teaches them not to trust what their body is asking for. Nice way to collude with their eating disorder, which is already trying to convince them that their hunger is not to be trusted.
- Have you ever felt poststarvation hyperphagia? Some of us get so hungry that it fucking hurts … all the time. It is mental torture to be that hungry and be told that you are not allowed to eat as much as you want. Especially when you are already scared of your hunger anyway.
- It sets people in recovery in a lose-lose situation which can make them lose recovery motivation. They can’t fully recover because they are still restricting, and they feel that they are not supported in not restricting. They are being told to eat more, but are also being told there is such a thing as “too much.” That’s bollocks.
- It is illogical to conclude that “binge” or feast eating after prolonged restriction is wrong.
- Your own fear as a provider around unrestricted eating and weight gain is showing. Tuck that in, or go get another job.
The message is either “trust your body” or it is “you will have to micro-manage your body for your whole life.” It can’t be both. Yet this muddled message of “it’s okay to eat, but only a certain amount” that colludes with the eating disorder and sets people up for a life of quasi-recovery if rife in treatment centres. And it stinks.
Feast follows famine. Binge follows restriction. Nothing to be scared of. Not a big deal. Get the fuck over it already and stop teaching people to fight their biology.
Can I just say a BIG thank you. This post is brilliant. Grateful for your existence today x
But sometimes I see recovery coaches trim and eating whatever whenever and don’t seem to gain weight like other Ed patients It seems that they all can eat 3000-5000 calories and stay at a decent weight I gain and gain
Today I spoke with my nutritionist. I told her about feast eating and that I how much I can. She told me: I definitely agree! Just be careful that it doesn’t turn into binge eating…I just asked then: “isn’t binge eating mainly state of mind, I mean- when I restrict, it leads me into bingeing and vice versa…? so, isn’t restricting problem rather than feasting?” ….then I got answer:”as far as you are in control, not your anorexia, it is absolutely ok! But be careful that it doesn’t take control over yourself!” But still I think ..all of us in recovery should learn that feasting is absolutely ok and it can’t be followed by restricting…I mean, I don’t think there is any other way how to become both recovered physically and mentaly..or am I wrong?
I just read a review of a book by a therapist that completely goes against this. I did not like the sound of the book, which postulates that any type of “big eating” is a sign of a mental disorder. That if a person “gains too much weight” however that is defined, is showing signs of mental, physical, and other imbalance. As long as we have these notions out there, we will still be feeding into the ED mindset.
Thank you so much for this post, Tabitha; what you say in it is crucial for true, lasting recovery, I believe. If you and your resources (blog, books—both of which I’ve read cover to cover—and videos) had been around 40 years ago when my ED was in its infancy (I’m 51), I might not have spent most of my adulthood mired in the misery that is ED.
100% with you on the anger – Force 12 binge fury – that needs to be directed at these so-called health professionals and therapists. What I’d love to know is what their treatment outcomes really are using the “your BMI is 18 now, so safest to ease up and maintain this weight rather than run the risk of keeping on refeeding and maybe getting **fat**” approach most of them seem to work by. As far as I can tell, recovery outcomes are deliberately left unanalysed to any reliable level, so that the crying shame of much if what passes itself off as treatment out there can just carry on regardless of whether it actually works or not.
I was wondering if poststarvation hyperphagia can be affected by the length of illness? I have had anorexia since I was a child and for most of my life. I wonder if it will still be possible for me to recover let alone experience extreme hunger. Does time and span of the disorder play a part in my ability to get back in tune with my body?
Hi, I think the answer to your question is complicated.
I may have been undereating since I was a teen, and twenty plus years later realized I had an ED.
What happened to me was that I followed instructions from an online program to eat unlimited amounts, much like Tabitha advocates, and my body was so compromised eating a lot triggered a lot of acid reflux, which meant I couldn’t really breathe well while I was awake or asleep, which meant a lot of my hunger came from being oxygen deprived in my brain.
Those breathing issues caused an extreme exhaustion and unrelenting extreme hunger before a doctor told me to get tested for sleep apnea.
Sure enough I had a severe case and not getting deep sleep, plus asthmatic like symptoms, disrupted my metabolism severely.
I read that in some hospitalization programs people get put on ventilators – because breathing and sleeping properly is so crucial to making physical and mental progress in recovery and helping your hunger normalize.
If your lungs are compromised, or if you have any kind of issues affecting breathing while you sleep, I think that will affect length of recovery amd hunger until those get sorted.
The endocrine system is also quite delicate – if you have hypoglycemia or hyperglycemia that will also require special medical management and meal plans.
I guess what I am saying is – depending on your complications, recovery can take a lot of time, medical care, money and help from your support system.
It is not impossible to recover but luck, different types of privilege, determination, time all play huge role.
I really want to agree with everything you’ve written and I hope you are right. My issue is that I’m trying to recover from anorexia binge/purge subtype. I feel like I want to allow myself to eat without restriction but I want to eat all the time. Nothing seems to satisfy me which is leading to me continuing to struggle with bingeing and then purging. My treatment team don’t want me to deviate from the meal plan because I think they are afraid that if I allow myself to eat more and try to satisfy my mental/extreme hunger, it throws me off track because then I’m struggling to not purge afterwards. I feel like I want permission from them to let me eat more but they won’t give it. They have also said that I should aim to gain 0.5kg a week. I’m terrified that if I allow myself to eat more than the meal plan, I’ll gain too much too fast and they’ll think I’m disgusting. I’m also terrified that once my weight is high enough, they’ll drop me even if I’m still purging because I won’t have anorexia anymore.
Hi Tabitha,
Thank YOU so much for your posts. My parents and I have read every one of them because I am going through weight restoration now. I cannot stop this extreme hunger, and I will be honest it hurts and is terrifying, but I truly believe if I just allow it and listen to my body, it will eventually calm down. I tried to prevent it, I tried to manipulate it and all I did was prolong the inevitable. My body’s only agenda is health, and optimal health at that, and the more I try to use measures to stop it, the more frustrated and disappointed I became. I am a healthy weight now, and as much as I wish I could just get over this really hard body image, I am clinging to faith, that it will be okay again. I pray it will be. Thank you for all of your honesty and advice in these blogs. It is life saving. 🙂