New Year 2019.
In this podcast, Tabitha talks about her own recovery, and why wanting to recover isn’t enough.
Intention, Motivation, Commitment: The difference between wanting to recover, and actually recovering
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thank you so much for this its exactly where I am I promise myself, my children my husband this day this week this year will be different I will change I can eat I can stop but then 20yrs on I am still doing it. After listening to your kind positive words I realise I am just promising not committing but there is still time today to change thank you again
Such an encouraging, honest post. Sometimes you need to hear the hard stuff to stop and think. Beating around the bush doesn’t help change. Thank you Tabitha. Happy NY.
So true.
So moving.
Thank you
Thank you so much, hearing that someone has come so far gives me hope that I can commit as well, even down to stop using weights to not disappoint people gives me hope that if I am as honest I can commit to changing my actions.
Exactly where I am too. And you describe it so well. But when you talk about how in the end your commitment trumped your fear, that’s where I always fall down. I can’t seem to maintain a commitment that’s big enough to seize my snivelling fear by the scruff of its scrawny little neck and shove it down into the very depths of deepest darkest hell, which is where it belongs – for good. And even though hearing you cry made me feel so very wretched because I too have done so many things in the name of anorexia that have hurt, hurt, hurt so many dear and lovely people (and I’m still doing them, still hurting them), i am still letting my treacherous fear rule me. Thanks for the mirror. The true face of anorexia isn’t very pretty, is it? And it makes me pretty ugly too when I abdicate all responsibility for my life the way I’ve been doing all these years on years. You have brought me up bang against myself on this very first day of 2019. Thank you.
I’m sitting here thinking ahead of where I need to go for a run this afternoon…after I already went for a run this morning. I so so so so so so so needed to hear this. Thank you
Beautiful and powerful video. It shows me that I’m not fully present in my life, or my relationships. That nagging, obsessive ed voice is always chatting in the background, and I’m not focusing on the aspects of life that truly matter. What a gift you give when you are fully present for those you love, and have the ability to be flexible as life occurs. I’m sorry you lost your sweet friend. Animals have a way of caring that is unequaled, and I have always been close to them. This video was a powerful testimonial to the reason to choose recovery every time. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. So helpful!
As inspiring as ever. Happy New Year and thanks for what you are doing
The timing of this is perfect!!!
Just as I’ve made the decision to enter the new year with a commitment to starve myself of the compulsion to run this lands in my inbox.
Day 3 tomorrow and I know I will probably repeat listening to this each day to ensure the commitment remains as strong as it is now.
Thank you so much !!!
Thanks for this inspiring podcast! I really needed to hear this right now as I’m starting the new year with the (single huge) goal of full recovery. After 26 years of anorexia (I’m 39) and many years of mid recovery (this is hell), I’m comitted to full recovery. Thanks to you, Tabitha, I opened my eyes and realized how my life, my thoughts, behaviors, etc., were ruled and conditioned by anorexia. After so many years you get used to it and believe it’s just a life style or personality. Bullshit! It’s just the multiple shades of anorexia reinforced by the modern diet-thiness-obssesive culture. I am (and will) scared as hell, but I will eat, rest and rewire anyway, because I’m committed to FR!!
The worst thing for me in terms of recovery is dealing with my fear and resistance to gaining weight – the way that being a ‘normal’ weight brings back all the feelings of insecurity about myself that I don’t have to deal with when I’m thin. I use my thinness as some sort of weird power – it makes me feel superior to others even though I know this is BS and the only one suffering here is me! So, yes, we can talk all we want about wanting to gain weight, how to gain weight etc, but how can I deal with all the painful emotions that being thin has kept at bay for so long?
Fioana: I am right there with you at this juncture in my recovery. I feel like I’m that awkward middle-schooler again. The “thinness” does act as a band-aid for those underlying insecurities. You deal with them by feeling them and talking them out with a trusted professional and support system. Good luck on your journey.
Wow. Having listened I’ve realised that no amount of wanting and attending a therapist can help unless I can commit despite all the fear and hesitation in the world. Today I took off my fitbit. A whole day, it was hard and anxiety ridden but k did it. Thank you Tabitha x
When I listened to this all I could hear in my head was ‘That’s you Clo.’ I am constantly promising people that I will try harder and be harder on myself, but the next day the cycle starts again and I’m back to where I started.
I realize that I need to commit rather than make empty promises, otherwise nothing is going to chance. I need to think of food as medicine, take my actual medicine religionlessly and follow the plan. There is no time like the present to chance my life.
Thank you x