Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

The fact that sitting down and eating pizza — a lot of it — was actually so easy, was one of the reasons it was so sad. I could have done this 5, 8, 10 years ago. I could have. I could have made that choice. That was a shitty, shitty realisation.

read more

Will I ever be able to exercise again?

If you no longer have an active eating disorder, and you no longer have exercise compulsions, and you can trust yourself to do what you want to do and what is right for you. This may or may not mean movement that makes you feel good and happy. If you don’t have any ulterior motives, you will move if you want to, and not move if you don’t want to.

You have to be recovered before you start again. Recovery is the base for everything good in life. Achieve recovery first. Take your time. 

read more

Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

You could walk up to just about anyone and tell them that they were afraid on some level of not being accepted and it would be true. There is nothing clever about recognizing the people are afraid of not being accepted. There is nothing specific to eating disorders about feeling that way either. I just didn’t buy it that these common-or-garden fears were the cause of my massively fucked up reaction to being offered a ham sandwich.

read more

PSA: The fat on your body is there by design

You can’t fight your biology and win. Try willing yourself a couple of inches taller and see where you get with that. It doesn’t work. The thing with genes is you either suck it up and learn to work with them, or (as anyone who has spent any length of time in high heels knows) you spend your life in pain and misery.

read more

Recovery Stories: Eating Disorders and Stealing

Admitting to stealing when I was sick with anorexia was one of the very last things I came around to being able to talk about. I was so deeply ashamed. I feared the reactions and judgements I would get from others should I be open about it. I am so glad I found the courage to share, because I know from some of the emails I get on this topic that in doing so I enabled others to better understand that their own stealing behaviour was/is a consequence of malnutrition, and a brain that perceives resource scarcity. And not, I repeat, not, a character flaw. You will do things when you are in malnutrition that are far out of character. Not eating enough food strips us down to the core of what it is to be a mammal. It turns on survival-instinct behaviours and reactions that for many people are never experienced.

read more

Anorexia recovery: Act on the truth, and only the truth

I know your truth. Your truth is that you are tired and hungry — no, exhausted and starving — and all you really want to do is sit on the coach and eat mountains of food. I also know that this truth frightens you. So you are trying hard to ignore and reject it You...

read more

What Yoga Teachers Need to Know About Eating Disorders

I'm writing this as a resource for yoga instructors. It is by no-means complete and you are likely going to have to browse this blog and my podcasts to fully understand a lot of the things I talk about here. If you can't be bothered to do that, however, this is give...

read more

Anorexia recovery: Be the agent rather than the victim

This is post about empowering you to know that if you want to recover, and if you take the actions needed in order to recover, you will. In order to fully recover, regardless of your deal in life, you have to have agency. You have to actively work for recovery rather...

read more

Full Recovery: Mental Flexibility

Full recovery is so so so much more than gaining weight. There are cascading and wonderful mental state shifts and changes that actually lead to the mental freedom that recovery is all about. And this mental freedom is why the often overlooked neural rewiring aspect...

read more

Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

The fact that sitting down and eating pizza — a lot of it — was actually so easy, was one of the reasons it was so sad. I could have done this 5, 8, 10 years ago. I could have. I could have made that choice. That was a shitty, shitty realisation.

read more

Will I ever be able to exercise again?

If you no longer have an active eating disorder, and you no longer have exercise compulsions, and you can trust yourself to do what you want to do and what is right for you. This may or may not mean movement that makes you feel good and happy. If you don’t have any ulterior motives, you will move if you want to, and not move if you don’t want to.

You have to be recovered before you start again. Recovery is the base for everything good in life. Achieve recovery first. Take your time. 

read more

Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

You could walk up to just about anyone and tell them that they were afraid on some level of not being accepted and it would be true. There is nothing clever about recognizing the people are afraid of not being accepted. There is nothing specific to eating disorders about feeling that way either. I just didn’t buy it that these common-or-garden fears were the cause of my massively fucked up reaction to being offered a ham sandwich.

read more

PSA: The fat on your body is there by design

You can’t fight your biology and win. Try willing yourself a couple of inches taller and see where you get with that. It doesn’t work. The thing with genes is you either suck it up and learn to work with them, or (as anyone who has spent any length of time in high heels knows) you spend your life in pain and misery.

read more

Recovery Stories: Eating Disorders and Stealing

Admitting to stealing when I was sick with anorexia was one of the very last things I came around to being able to talk about. I was so deeply ashamed. I feared the reactions and judgements I would get from others should I be open about it. I am so glad I found the courage to share, because I know from some of the emails I get on this topic that in doing so I enabled others to better understand that their own stealing behaviour was/is a consequence of malnutrition, and a brain that perceives resource scarcity. And not, I repeat, not, a character flaw. You will do things when you are in malnutrition that are far out of character. Not eating enough food strips us down to the core of what it is to be a mammal. It turns on survival-instinct behaviours and reactions that for many people are never experienced.

read more

Anorexia recovery: Act on the truth, and only the truth

I know your truth. Your truth is that you are tired and hungry — no, exhausted and starving — and all you really want to do is sit on the coach and eat mountains of food. I also know that this truth frightens you. So you are trying hard to ignore and reject it You...

read more

What Yoga Teachers Need to Know About Eating Disorders

I'm writing this as a resource for yoga instructors. It is by no-means complete and you are likely going to have to browse this blog and my podcasts to fully understand a lot of the things I talk about here. If you can't be bothered to do that, however, this is give...

read more

Anorexia recovery: Be the agent rather than the victim

This is post about empowering you to know that if you want to recover, and if you take the actions needed in order to recover, you will. In order to fully recover, regardless of your deal in life, you have to have agency. You have to actively work for recovery rather...

read more

Full Recovery: Mental Flexibility

Full recovery is so so so much more than gaining weight. There are cascading and wonderful mental state shifts and changes that actually lead to the mental freedom that recovery is all about. And this mental freedom is why the often overlooked neural rewiring aspect...

read more




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