I’ve not been blogging because I like being lazy

I’ve not been blogging because I like being lazy

lazy adjective 1. unwilling to work or use energy. This year, "unwilling to work or use energy," sounds about right when it comes to writing, reading, accounting, or anything related to my computer. It's been the most unproductive year I've had in many. Generally I am...

read more
Lunchbox policing

Lunchbox policing

I had a teddy-bear shaped red plastic lunchbox in primary school. Mum packed it for me. Generally a sandwich, yoghurt, piece of fruit, bag of crisps, biscuits, jaffa cakes, and a chocolate bar or sweets. If it was a good day, cake. There were no lunchbox police when I...

read more
Fear of Weight Gain: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

Fear of Weight Gain: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

It took me about 10 years to realise that my tendency to hit the roof in rage whenever my mother offered me food was actually an expression of fear. I'm kind of embarrassed it took me that long as it seems so bloody obvious now that someone popping their head around...

read more
Permission to Eat

Permission to Eat

If you can't give yourself permission to eat, you can't fully recover. This is because full recovery means that you are eating without restriction. You can't be eating without restriction if you are unable to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. Note I said...

read more
Eating Disorder Recovery: COVID-19

Eating Disorder Recovery: COVID-19

I am seeing a lot of memes etc on social media pointing out to the rest of the world that this pandemic is particularly difficult for people with eating disorders. This post isn't doing to be like that. I just don't believe that sort messaging effectively helps...

read more
Recovering Alone

Recovering Alone

Link to a video I made on this topic: https://youtu.be/07j4fIwjRkg I've been told off in the past for being honest about the fact I recovered fully without any professional help. I've been told this can make people feel like they too need to try and recover without...

read more
Mental Hunger: “I don’t know if I am hungry or not”

Mental Hunger: “I don’t know if I am hungry or not”

Mental hunger is your body cuing you to eat. Mental hunger is important. It is a very valid communication from your body as your body attempts to bring the desire to eat into your consciousness. I personally think that physical hunger is beside the point if you are in...

read more
I cried after talking with your parents tonight

I cried after talking with your parents tonight

I cried after talking to your parents tonight. I often cry after talking to parents. There are a hundred reasons why. Maybe I will be able to outline some of them here. The main reason, is usually because I can't answer the one question that they so desperately wanted...

read more
Compulsive Movement: The answer is still “yes.”

Compulsive Movement: The answer is still “yes.”

Yes, you still have to stop complusive movement. Even if it is tiny. Even if it if just walking, or cleaning the house. Even if you already gave up running and your gym membership. If there are still elements of compulsive movement in your life, yes, you need to stop....

read more
If you’re not actively recovering, you are dying.

If you’re not actively recovering, you are dying.

If you are under-eating — and by that I mean eating less than you truly want to, which, by the way, you can be doing even if you are eating everything on your meal plan, and if you are eating more than you were last week, and if you are eating five time more than your friends and family — then you are actively restricting.

read more

Thanks for listening!

I've not written a blog for months. I've been moving house, had little internet connection, and been generally busy, and tired. I'm glad that this past couple of weeks I had felt like I have the time and space to start writing again, so there will be blogs to come,...

read more
Unsuppressed Bodyweight. Unsuppressed Personality.

Unsuppressed Bodyweight. Unsuppressed Personality.

My eating disorder used to tell me that I was special and better because I would never allow myself a rest. It would tell me that giving in to desire was weak, and that I had the special edge over everyone else because I knew how to push myself and not give in.

None of that is true. I wasn’t better. I wasn’t special. I was fucking sick.

In the process of getting better, I had to accept my unsuppressed bodyweight, but that wasn’t the only thing my eating disorder brain didn’t like. It didn’t like my unsuppressed personality either. I had to stick up for that in the same way I had to stick up for my body. I had to repel my own judgment over both. I had to work on accepting both, and understanding that suppressing food led to suppressing me.

read more
Triple R Recovery Center

Triple R Recovery Center

We want to disrupt the model. We want to provide a place for adults who want to get better and want to re-learn how to trust and not be at war with their bodies. We want to create a space that doesn’t devalue your experience just because you might not look like the stereotypical perception of what a person with an eating disorder looks like. We want to empower you to know that you can do this, you can make the correct decisions for your recovery, you can fully recover, and it can be sustainable.

read more
“Thinner is better” is a cultural belief that’s making us sick

“Thinner is better” is a cultural belief that’s making us sick

It’s not your fault that you hold this bias/belief that thinner is better. It has been taught to you from an early age. You have been swimming in fatphobia all your life, so it is inevitable that you swallowed a lot of it. You probably started absorbing it in the womb, when you were a captive audience listening to your mother tell people about how she intended to lose the baby weight as soon as you were born.

read more
Food is so much more than just nutrition. By design.

Food is so much more than just nutrition. By design.

I think the biggest tragedy that happens when we reduce eating to calories and macronutrients is that we remove everything else. Eating by numbers takes away the important social, emotional, and psychological functions that food has for humans. And just because you don’t want food to be social and emotional and psychological doesn’t mean it isn’t. You can reduce food to numbers. You can try and ignore these other functions. But when you are wondering why you feel disconnected and unfulfilled, maybe you should start looking at the way you eat, and rather than trying to control it more, stop. Stop counting. Stop calculating.

read more
For Sarah [Podcast]

For Sarah [Podcast]

Warning: This episode may be difficult or triggering for some listeners. It involves talking about a person who recently died of anorexia. In this podcast, Tabitha talks about a person who recently died as a result of the malnutrition associated with anorexia.  Sarah...

read more
How not to allow the Ditch of Fear to swallow you in recovery.

How not to allow the Ditch of Fear to swallow you in recovery.

Fear is the biggest obstacle in recovery for most of us. Most commonly, fear of weight gain. For many of us, fear of our unsuppressed bodyweight is what keeps us circling through actions that are intended to suppress weight gain. Fear of change also factors in and keeps us taking actions that we know are not good for us. 

read more
Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

The fact that sitting down and eating pizza — a lot of it — was actually so easy, was one of the reasons it was so sad. I could have done this 5, 8, 10 years ago. I could have. I could have made that choice. That was a shitty, shitty realisation.

read more
Will I ever be able to exercise again?

Will I ever be able to exercise again?

If you no longer have an active eating disorder, and you no longer have exercise compulsions, and you can trust yourself to do what you want to do and what is right for you. This may or may not mean movement that makes you feel good and happy. If you don’t have any ulterior motives, you will move if you want to, and not move if you don’t want to.

You have to be recovered before you start again. Recovery is the base for everything good in life. Achieve recovery first. Take your time. 

read more
Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

You could walk up to just about anyone and tell them that they were afraid on some level of not being accepted and it would be true. There is nothing clever about recognizing the people are afraid of not being accepted. There is nothing specific to eating disorders about feeling that way either. I just didn’t buy it that these common-or-garden fears were the cause of my massively fucked up reaction to being offered a ham sandwich.

read more
PSA: The fat on your body is there by design

PSA: The fat on your body is there by design

You can’t fight your biology and win. Try willing yourself a couple of inches taller and see where you get with that. It doesn’t work. The thing with genes is you either suck it up and learn to work with them, or (as anyone who has spent any length of time in high heels knows) you spend your life in pain and misery.

read more
I’ve not been blogging because I like being lazy

I’ve not been blogging because I like being lazy

lazy adjective 1. unwilling to work or use energy. This year, "unwilling to work or use energy," sounds about right when it comes to writing, reading, accounting, or anything related to my computer. It's been the most unproductive year I've had in many. Generally I am...

read more
Lunchbox policing

Lunchbox policing

I had a teddy-bear shaped red plastic lunchbox in primary school. Mum packed it for me. Generally a sandwich, yoghurt, piece of fruit, bag of crisps, biscuits, jaffa cakes, and a chocolate bar or sweets. If it was a good day, cake. There were no lunchbox police when I...

read more
Fear of Weight Gain: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

Fear of Weight Gain: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

It took me about 10 years to realise that my tendency to hit the roof in rage whenever my mother offered me food was actually an expression of fear. I'm kind of embarrassed it took me that long as it seems so bloody obvious now that someone popping their head around...

read more
Permission to Eat

Permission to Eat

If you can't give yourself permission to eat, you can't fully recover. This is because full recovery means that you are eating without restriction. You can't be eating without restriction if you are unable to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. Note I said...

read more
Eating Disorder Recovery: COVID-19

Eating Disorder Recovery: COVID-19

I am seeing a lot of memes etc on social media pointing out to the rest of the world that this pandemic is particularly difficult for people with eating disorders. This post isn't doing to be like that. I just don't believe that sort messaging effectively helps...

read more
Recovering Alone

Recovering Alone

Link to a video I made on this topic: https://youtu.be/07j4fIwjRkg I've been told off in the past for being honest about the fact I recovered fully without any professional help. I've been told this can make people feel like they too need to try and recover without...

read more
Mental Hunger: “I don’t know if I am hungry or not”

Mental Hunger: “I don’t know if I am hungry or not”

Mental hunger is your body cuing you to eat. Mental hunger is important. It is a very valid communication from your body as your body attempts to bring the desire to eat into your consciousness. I personally think that physical hunger is beside the point if you are in...

read more
I cried after talking with your parents tonight

I cried after talking with your parents tonight

I cried after talking to your parents tonight. I often cry after talking to parents. There are a hundred reasons why. Maybe I will be able to outline some of them here. The main reason, is usually because I can't answer the one question that they so desperately wanted...

read more
Compulsive Movement: The answer is still “yes.”

Compulsive Movement: The answer is still “yes.”

Yes, you still have to stop complusive movement. Even if it is tiny. Even if it if just walking, or cleaning the house. Even if you already gave up running and your gym membership. If there are still elements of compulsive movement in your life, yes, you need to stop....

read more
If you’re not actively recovering, you are dying.

If you’re not actively recovering, you are dying.

If you are under-eating — and by that I mean eating less than you truly want to, which, by the way, you can be doing even if you are eating everything on your meal plan, and if you are eating more than you were last week, and if you are eating five time more than your friends and family — then you are actively restricting.

read more

Thanks for listening!

I've not written a blog for months. I've been moving house, had little internet connection, and been generally busy, and tired. I'm glad that this past couple of weeks I had felt like I have the time and space to start writing again, so there will be blogs to come,...

read more
Unsuppressed Bodyweight. Unsuppressed Personality.

Unsuppressed Bodyweight. Unsuppressed Personality.

My eating disorder used to tell me that I was special and better because I would never allow myself a rest. It would tell me that giving in to desire was weak, and that I had the special edge over everyone else because I knew how to push myself and not give in.

None of that is true. I wasn’t better. I wasn’t special. I was fucking sick.

In the process of getting better, I had to accept my unsuppressed bodyweight, but that wasn’t the only thing my eating disorder brain didn’t like. It didn’t like my unsuppressed personality either. I had to stick up for that in the same way I had to stick up for my body. I had to repel my own judgment over both. I had to work on accepting both, and understanding that suppressing food led to suppressing me.

read more
Triple R Recovery Center

Triple R Recovery Center

We want to disrupt the model. We want to provide a place for adults who want to get better and want to re-learn how to trust and not be at war with their bodies. We want to create a space that doesn’t devalue your experience just because you might not look like the stereotypical perception of what a person with an eating disorder looks like. We want to empower you to know that you can do this, you can make the correct decisions for your recovery, you can fully recover, and it can be sustainable.

read more
“Thinner is better” is a cultural belief that’s making us sick

“Thinner is better” is a cultural belief that’s making us sick

It’s not your fault that you hold this bias/belief that thinner is better. It has been taught to you from an early age. You have been swimming in fatphobia all your life, so it is inevitable that you swallowed a lot of it. You probably started absorbing it in the womb, when you were a captive audience listening to your mother tell people about how she intended to lose the baby weight as soon as you were born.

read more
Food is so much more than just nutrition. By design.

Food is so much more than just nutrition. By design.

I think the biggest tragedy that happens when we reduce eating to calories and macronutrients is that we remove everything else. Eating by numbers takes away the important social, emotional, and psychological functions that food has for humans. And just because you don’t want food to be social and emotional and psychological doesn’t mean it isn’t. You can reduce food to numbers. You can try and ignore these other functions. But when you are wondering why you feel disconnected and unfulfilled, maybe you should start looking at the way you eat, and rather than trying to control it more, stop. Stop counting. Stop calculating.

read more
For Sarah [Podcast]

For Sarah [Podcast]

Warning: This episode may be difficult or triggering for some listeners. It involves talking about a person who recently died of anorexia. In this podcast, Tabitha talks about a person who recently died as a result of the malnutrition associated with anorexia.  Sarah...

read more
How not to allow the Ditch of Fear to swallow you in recovery.

How not to allow the Ditch of Fear to swallow you in recovery.

Fear is the biggest obstacle in recovery for most of us. Most commonly, fear of weight gain. For many of us, fear of our unsuppressed bodyweight is what keeps us circling through actions that are intended to suppress weight gain. Fear of change also factors in and keeps us taking actions that we know are not good for us. 

read more
Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

Eating past tears, and choosing to smile.

The fact that sitting down and eating pizza — a lot of it — was actually so easy, was one of the reasons it was so sad. I could have done this 5, 8, 10 years ago. I could have. I could have made that choice. That was a shitty, shitty realisation.

read more
Will I ever be able to exercise again?

Will I ever be able to exercise again?

If you no longer have an active eating disorder, and you no longer have exercise compulsions, and you can trust yourself to do what you want to do and what is right for you. This may or may not mean movement that makes you feel good and happy. If you don’t have any ulterior motives, you will move if you want to, and not move if you don’t want to.

You have to be recovered before you start again. Recovery is the base for everything good in life. Achieve recovery first. Take your time. 

read more
Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

Rewiring Fear: Recognising, Challenging, Overcoming

You could walk up to just about anyone and tell them that they were afraid on some level of not being accepted and it would be true. There is nothing clever about recognizing the people are afraid of not being accepted. There is nothing specific to eating disorders about feeling that way either. I just didn’t buy it that these common-or-garden fears were the cause of my massively fucked up reaction to being offered a ham sandwich.

read more




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